The Difference Between Porn & Real Sex Explained with Food

pretty clever little vid.

some great (sex) resolutions/advice for 2014

Ah the new year. I'm staying away from making a bunch of resolutions, but have been seeing some great recommendations...Just read a fantastic article on Vice about how to have better sex in 2014. Some of the more down to earth ad-Vice I've ever seen form them.

http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/how-to-have-better-sex-in-2014 

Also, a great little diddy from Laci Green.

My fave music video of 2013 and 2014

As you probably know the internet access on Haida Gwaii is bum. In many ways this is a good thing, as it prevents the take over of ubiquitous youtube parties that are often the result of flawless access and unlimited bandwidth. The exceptions to this are time like when you are trying to get any work done involving the internet, or trying to show a truly deserving video you love to someone, but overall, it's a small price to pay to live in a place like this, and a good excuse to step away from the screen and get the hell outside.

All that to say that that I do not watch a ton of music videos and am decidedly behind the times on most things pop culture.

That's why there is only 1 videos on my list of top videos of 2013. Which makes it pretty easy.

212 by Azealia Banks. I think this probably didn't come out in 2013, but that's when I found out about it courtesy of my buddy Natalie when I was visiting her in Montreal. This video made my jaw drop. HOT!

Now for 2014. There are actually 15 separate videos (shattering my last years number in just the first few days of the new year!). These videos were brought to my attention by the decidedly media savvy Evil Patrick. One of my most listened to albums of 2013, and probably for the last 3 years is Girl Talk Feed the Animals, but then just one day before new years Mr. Shannon brought the latest album All Day to my attention. Another mind blowing, hip spasm inducing truckload of ear candy.

To top it all off, just after New Years I was introduced to the videos that accompany this opus. This genius 15 year old had made a video of herself dancing all over New York to one of the tracks from this album. When Greg Gillis, (the mix mastermind behind Girl Talk) saw the video he asked her to do the whole album, so she did. It's called Girl Walk All Day. I dare you to try not to smile, let alone just start dancing uncontrollably while watching this. It's beautiful. 2014 is looking good so far.

Great new book By Naomi Wolf, plus lots of great lady part art

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2013/09/23/naomi-wolf-vagina/

The Difference Between Porn & Real Sex Explained with Food

pretty clever little vid.

The Good Mother: A Critical Discourse Analysis of Literacy Advice to Mothers in the 20th Century

This is a doctoral thesis passed along to me by a friend. She quoted it in a meeting we were in saying "sometimes the things we choose to teach say more about us than they do about those we are trying to teach" or something along those lines. It stuck with me. This paper is a compelling discussion about how parents and especially women get trapped by the idea, fed to us through culture, and rooted in patriarchy, of the unreachable goal of the"good mother". Read on to get the gist. http://www.timeanddate.com/calendar/?year=2014&country=27

Pre fab ponderings

Lately I have been thinking about the allure of Pre fab. Some friends of ours recently put up their house in just 8 days which, even in the most energetic of cases on Haida Gwaii is legendary.

I have had a couple of sites reccommended to me based on their price point, which is nice. One is Allpro the other is Norpine. Neither of these sites actually show pricing, so I imagine I will have to call the numbers to get the skinny.

As far as design, the nicest ones I have come across are on this site which at least give a rough estimate of $100-$140 per square foot.

Spoken Word about the hypocrisy of the public's shaming of mothers who breastfeed in public

Fansastic spoken work by a British woman enraged after spending months sitting in public toilets to breast feed. NO MORE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiS8q_fifa0

Sex and relationships in Long Term Care facilities

Just saw this great video posted by a colleague about sex and relationships in long term care facilities.

I did a presentation a month back for my course which was about the need for comprehensive policies for care homes which are sex positive and encourage relationships and sexual health in the clients that live there. Here is a link to the guidelines we used as the backbone of our presentation.

I also learned about this book called "naked at our age" which is about sex and aging. I ordered it and have yet to read it, but hear it is quite good, full of stories of juicy romances in later life.

great website for HIV/Hepatitis info and resources

http://orders.catie.ca/order_info.php

Gender book

Here's a link to a gender book with great illustrations.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/lilyhiottmillis/the-gender-book-everyone-should-read

Also a link to a great photo essay about a camp for gender non-conforming boys
http://www.slate.com/blogs/behold/2013/07/15/_you_are_you_looks_at_a_gender_nonconforming_camp_for_boys_photos.html

First Nations Sexual Health for Youth

Learnt about this organization from a Ainsley, formerly from Youthco, now at Opt.

http://www.bccdc.ca/SexualHealth/Programs/CheeMamukAboriginalProgram/default.htm

Lots of great resources, posters etc.

Modern Hunters

Heard this great program on CBC today "Do Animal Lovers Hunt?"

well worth a listen.

Hip Hop finally takes on Homophobia, or more specifically Macklemore does.

Maybe you've already heard this song Same Love, but if not, check it out. I first heard about Macklemore because of his hit "Thrift Store" which is hilarious and totally on point, but has gotten obnoxiously popular of late. Same Love on the other hand just makes me cry every time I watch the video. The extra cool thing is that the other day my dad was listening to this incredibly annoying pop radio station and when I asked him why he said there was this one song he had heard with this amazing soul melody and, more interestingly a message of love and acceptance, something not often heard in hip hop. Intruigued I loked up same love to see if the song that had so impacted me had done the same to him. I was also excited to think that maybe there existed 2 hip hop songs in the universe that promote such things. Nope. I was wrong, but I was pretty happy that my dad and I had this kind of universal consciousness thing going on. Guess I better burn him a copy of the CD (which I bought, minus the swears) so he doesn't have to keep listening to Kit Carson :P

Pleasurable Power Point Presentations

Death By Power point. have you ever experienced it? Someone puts up a slideshow of onotonous text, no images, the entire screen filled with words which they proceed to read off the screen. BARF!

Fortunately people are learning and new styles are evolving to try to avoid this terrible phenomenon.

One intruiguing take on this is something called PechaKucha which I just learnt about. It's a Japanese presentation style in which 20 slides are shown for 20 seconds each (six minutes and 40 seconds in total). The format, which keeps presentations concise and fast-paced, powers multiple-speaker events called PechaKucha Nights. Apparently the PechaKucha night in Vancouver is one of the most popular in the world! 

Here is another example of PechaKucha, an actual PPt, that combines an interesting powerpoint with something I love, talking about signs and empathy!

Adult sexuality, sex and aging

I just did a presentation today about the need to create sexual health and expression policies within long term care facilities as part of our module about Sex and Aging, part of the Adult Sexuality component. There are a few links I would like to remember in all this so here they are.
Kritsin mentioned her friend Peggy Brick in class today, an award winning american sexual health educator. Her is a link to her blog about sex and aging.
http://www.sexualityandaging.com/2013/05/

Also here are links to the 2 books by Joan Price, Naked At Our Age and Better Than I Ever Expected

Betty Dodson is also important to mention, she is an artist and has done amazing work since the 70's organizing her famous "bodysex workshops" where she gathered with groups of women, naked in her new york apartment to discuss their genitals and orgasms. Now 83 she just recorded another of these films, and it can be viewed for $20 on her website, which also includes tons of great video blogs of her and her partner in crime talking all about sex.

On the topic of vulvas I feel it is important to mention another book that I know about which is related to the Betty Dodson theme. One is I'll Show You Mine, it's a photo study of different women's vulvas and includes pink pubic hair and (apparently) trans genitals, though you won't be able to tell. 10% of all book sales go to charitable women's organizations and if you write to them they will send you one for the price of the postage, providing you promise to use it in women's educational groups.

Learnt about this other book too, which is called the Manga Sutra this is a book which was written as a kind of instructional tool/graphic novel...I have heard it is great.

This weekend we also got a great tour of Womyns' Ware an adult sex shop on Commercial drive. They are very ethically driven and work hard to make sure that the integrity, safety and quality of all the products they carry are top notch. Thanks to the Industrial designer and display artist for their fabulous and informative tour.

I feel bad that all of this stuff seems so much more pertinent to women...If anyone has EDUCATIONAL books and resources more aimed at men, please let me know.
Just to balance the scales a little here's a Betty Dodson pic of a penis, or as Betty described it, a "Cock with a twist"

Public Cervix Announcement

A pretty thought provoking PSA by trans fore runner Buck Angel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_uNFmZHvO0

How much internet use is for porn?

Here's an article from Forbes that did the research...Turns out it's only about 4% of all websites and about 13% of all web searches are porn related. Not so much after all.

Modern day homesteading

As some friends and I are considering banding together to buy land and create a kind of Eden on Haida Gwaii, thoughts of alternative green energy technologies, home design and intentional communities are dancing through my head like sugar plums.

I was listening to Spark on cbc the other day and stumbled across an unusually interesting interview with another like minded soul from Whole systems design, a research farm where they are doing many of the things that I am dreaming of. Have a listen.

Passing through the looking glass and into the montreal art scene

I just returned from a delightful stay in the fair and french speaking city of Montreal where I was visiting my even more fair and thoroughly delightful friends Natalie, Colleen and Alex.

I am very excited to know that Natalie has been doing some writing on her art blog Passenger Art along with her friend Reilley who I also had the pleasure of meeting. The two of them are queens of the conceptual. I always learn a lot and enjoy any art I see far better when I get a second look through Nat's eyes.

While in monts we visited many galleries and studios. I got to see Colleen's latest show which included pieces dyed with headbang hair. Need I say more about how awesome Collen's art is? Check out her site for more proof.

While there Nat and I got to accompany Colleen and assist her in some prep painting for Jessica Eaton and fellow artist. We stayed up late and painted cubes in her gorgeous downtown studio of chartreuse brick and wide eyed windows.

Ode to the Arichoke - a poem for farmer's market season

Another poem...the Ode to the Artichoke. Came a cross this long time ago.

Ode To The Artichoke

The artichoke

With a tender heart

Dressed up like a warrior,

Standing at attention, it built

A small helmet

Under its scales

It remained

Unshakeable,

By its side

The crazy vegetables

Uncurled

Their tendrills and leaf-crowns,

Throbbing bulbs,

In the sub-soil

The carrot

With its red mustaches

Was sleeping,

The grapevine

Hung out to dry its branches

Through which the wine will rise,

The cabbage

Dedicated itself

To trying on skirts,

The oregano

To perfuming the world,

And the sweet

Artichoke

There in the garden,

Dressed like a warrior,

Burnished

Like a proud

Pomegrante.

And one day

Side by side

In big wicker baskets

Walking through the market

To realize their dream

The artichoke army

In formation.

Never was it so military

Like on parade.

The men

In their white shirts

Among the vegetables

Were

The Marshals

Of the artichokes

Lines in close order

Command voices,

And the bang

Of a falling box.

But

Then

Maria

Comes

With her basket

She chooses

An artichoke,

She's not afraid of it.

She examines it, she observes it

Up against the light like it was an egg,

She buys it,

She mixes it up

In her handbag

With a pair of shoes

With a cabbage head and a

Bottle

Of vinegar

Until

She enters the kitchen

And submerges it in a pot.

Thus ends

In peace

This career

Of the armed vegetable

Which is called an artichoke,

Then

Scale by scale,

We strip off

The delicacy

And eat

The peaceful mush

Of its green heart. 

Pablo Neruda

Still love it. And now it's providing design inspiration too! If you want to see what I've been thinking, check out my new pinterest page. I'm trying that out. http://pinterest.com/alicatbird/boards/

Mary Oliver, or, a poem for my mother

Last time I was in Vancouver we put my mum's ashes up at the Mountainview Cemetery. It was good to be there with my family and move a few inches in our slow acceptance of her passing. My lovely Aunt was there and she provided us with some beautiful words with which to remember my mum by when she read the following poem by Mary Oliver. 

The Summer Day
- 1990 

  Who made the world? 
  Who made the swan, and the black bear? 
  Who made the grasshopper? 
  This grasshopper, I mean-- 
  the one who has flung herself out of the grass, 
  the one who is eating sugar out of my hand, 
  who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-- 
  who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes. 
  Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face. 
  Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away. 
  I don't know exactly what a prayer is. 
  I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down 
  into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass, 
  how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields, 
  which is what I have been doing all day. 
  Tell me, what else should I have done? 
  Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon? 
  Tell me, what is it you plan to do 
  with your one wild and precious life? 

I just looked this poem up, and found some of her other works, equally moving and beautiful. If your spriti could use a little boost. Have a read. 

http://www.mrbauld.com/oliverpms.html

Tantra Video showing different position

This is a Tantric video, showing (without any nudity) the various positions that can be pleasurable for men and women and how to move between them smoothly. The couple teaching are a man/woman duo . Enjoy!

Sex Ed in Schools a report from Ontario

We are lucky inCanada that we have some pretty great standards when it comes to Sex Ed in our Schools. Unfortunately Teachers are not given ANY training in how to do sex ed, and since this is a touchy subject sex Ed often get's glossed over, or not taught at all. Fortunately though there are standards, and there is training (like the awesome training I am doing) which can help us deliver high quality, research based Body Science and Sex ed for all ages. Here is a link to a look in the what is happening in Ontario with regards to Sex ed, and what parents and students want.
https://www.ophea.net/sites/default/files/pdfs/advocacy/ADV_SexEdReportFINAL_31MY13.pdf

The Power of Hugs

Check out this great article about "Amma" a Guru in India who seems to have seized the heart and imagination of many Indians as well as people from all over the globe with her healing hugs. Another case for the importance of touch, and 4 hugs a day which also happens to be a pretty endearing children's song from Canadian Children's songstress Charlotte Diamond. Check out the jazzy 80's video, which was filmed in a retirement home. Pretty cute.

On another note, something I learned in my class was that the 2 groups of people who are the most touch deprived are
1) Seniors
2) Teenagers - is this second one surprising? Think about it, maybe this is part of why they sometimes launch themselves into unsafe situations, it feels good to be hugged and we need that positive connection. Hug a teen! But be sure to ask first :)

Oh and another thing to keep in mind, courtesy of the Portland Art Museum:

"The average length of a hug between two people is 3 seconds. Researchers have discovered something fantastic. When a hug lasts longer than 20 seconds, there is a therapeutic effect on the body and mind. The reason is that a sincere hug produces a hormone called "oxytocin", also known as the love hormone. This substance has many benefits in our physical and mental health. It helps us, among other things, the relax, feel safe and calm our fears and anxiety. This wonderful calming effect is offered free of charge every time we have a person in our arms. When we cradle a child, cherish a dog or cat, when we're dancing with our partner, or even just holding the shoulders of a friend."

Maybe this is why I love salsa dancing class so much? I'm an oxytocin addict!

An Education on Residential Schools

I just heard an incredible interview on CBC radio with Bev Sellars, a residential school survivor. It was incredibly moving. She spoke about her experience of residential school. The Called me Number 1"
Bev has written a book called".

This pic is one I saw a few years back. It shows how one group of First Nations People set up their tipi's closer to the residential school in order to be closer to their children when they were taken away. The fight continues but I am astounded at how much so many First Nations People of Canada have endured.

Testosterone

Here is a link to a fabulous podcast from This American Life about Testosterone. It is VERY eye opening. There are stories from a man who lost his testosterone, a woman who transitioned to be a man and endured the resulting mind bending effects of testosterone, and a testosterone contest, to find out who has the most and least testosterone of all the staff at This American Life (men and women).

Hope you enjoy. And if are one of those people who don't know how podcasts work, it's basically just a radio show that you download for .99 cents or stream for free off the internet. They might change your life. 

Props

I am pleased to say that I have just ordered a mamamour doll. these are dolls which can give birth, and the resulting baby has a detachable umbilical cord and placenta! They also have snaps for the mouth so can breastfeed! If you want to see these dolls in action, click here for pictures, and maybe order your own amazing custom doll, click here.

Also someone mentioned vulva puppets today. They are also awesome!This is a video of a girl demonstrating the wonderous vulva puppet, this is the kind that I saw Kerri Isham use. The one in the video is pretty big, but there is also a "mini" version. Check them out here and purchase here. 

I also found this other one, the vulvalicious pillow...which looks more anatomically correct to me but is also a whopping $360 US!!

Interested to hear your impressions. 

In my search for an equally interesting penis puppet I also found this hilarious site which has combined the quirkiness with retro crochet and managed to raise money for cancer too! amazing. Those damn puppetry of the penis guys seem to have foiled my attempts at finding any kind of anatomical penis prop. Maybe someone else has a lead on this? 

Elderflower and early Spring Harvest

I have been impatiently awaiting the harvest season, and can officially say that it has started!

Doug and I have been collecting elderflower blossoms to make some kind of beverage with. When you have a brother who works at a U-Brew, the options are almost limitless. Two years ago we made a sparkling wine, and this year we are thinking maybe a liqueur. Thanks to Randy for sharing his recipe with us. He used this one, but said he added a little more sugar and kept it at a cooler temp.

Other things that are out right now are spruce buds, also used for making beverages (My brother made a prize winning Spruce tip beer last year).

In the garden we are eating greens, especially Kale, arugula, and lots of Rhubard, which is so delicious stewed up or in coffee cakes or crisps (AKA crumbles).

The Juiciest Tomato

Turns out that Vaginas have a similar pH to Tomatoes....Tomatoes, a theme in my life. At any rate, check out this interesting article to find out more about how to understand and regulate your "tomato". In a nutshell, the author advises women to pee and/or flush with hot water after sex and avoid using soap directly on the vaginal area as it is self cleaning, and Meg Hickling describes it as "one of the cleanest parts of the body", if left to it's own devices. Sugar and carbs that feed undesirable bacteria can also be a problem. I would add that I have heard it can also be useful to work on the male partner's ecosystem by monitoring sugar/carb intake as they can be affecting and re-introducing unbalancing elements into the system of the woman. For both men and women, eating natural yogurt, garlic and cranberries to your diet can help too.