Game of Thrones fan art by Mike Wrobel

Don't know if you know this about me but I am a pretty huge Game of Thrones nerd. I  started reading the books about 10 years ago and am now listening to them all again for the 2nd time on audiobook.
Evil Patrick Shannon has this great John Snow T-shirt and I just finally looked up the artist who did the illustration for it and a series of other characters, depicting them as might have appeared in the 80's/90's. See them all here. His name is Mike Wrobel. He has a great website with tons of this kind of stuff. 

the Science and languages of my favourite four letter word

Continuing from the Crushes post, here is one about Love.

I listened a while ago to this great Radiolab episode all about Love and how it works, at least in as much as we even CAN understand it. I also wanted to share this fantastic video about a love competition that takes brain imaging of people to try to test their various experiences of love. It's super interesting and made me feel really happy and think about the importance of meditation and sending out those good loving vibes, not just to our romantic partners, but to all kinds of folks. It also shows how good this is for the person doing the loving. I feel like I may have posted this video before but it's worth a re-post as it kind of touches on the idea of loving kindness meditation, which I have been trying to get back into since the fall. My aunt gave me a great book a while back called "Awake in the Wild" and in it one of the meditations is a guided loving kinds meditation. The idea is to think about the plants and animals and progressively the people and send them the following thoughts:
May you be safe.
May you be healthy.
May you be happy.
May you live with ease.

I have been trying to remember to do this.

I was in a Kindergarten class in a month or so ago and I was buoyed by the lesson I learnt there about love. The teacher asked the children "can you tell Alicia about the different kinds of hearts that we have?" The children politely answered "We have a muscle heart and a feeling heart" then they went on to tell me about how in their class they also talked a lot about all the different kinds of love that there are. For example, there was friend love, teacher love, parent love, brother or sister love, love for a pet etc etc etc. I was so impressed. The English language is hard on love, we have just one word and it isn't enough, not nearly enough to capture the spectrum of feelings that could easily fall under this kaleidoscopic umbrella. Yet it's all we have. This didn't deter this magical kindergarten teacher and her students. More power to them.

Soon after I read a post from a friend called "I Love you NBD. (No Big Deal)". It also made me think about how bound many of us are by what we think love means and the inherent attachments and stress on doing wrong to each other with our feelings. I also recently read a book called "the ethical slut" which I would highly recommend as it gives a very nuanced and insightful look into open and honest communication which is of value in any and all relationships. It really helped me think about jealousy and possessiveness in ways that have been hugely helpful.

On a separate but related note, in my very limited forays into learning about the Haida language I have noticed that in the SHIP glossary, there are multiple words for different kinds of k'uuga or love. Baby talk love guuga, so in love you can't sit still ling.xaal, and many more that I can't actually spell using this keyboard. Makes me very curious into this language and more importantly the culture behind it. I think we have so much to learn from the Haida and other world views that are not founded so much on resource extraction, efficiencies and industrialism.

A Serious Study of Crushes

During my image searches for my puberty lesson today I came upon this fantastic site. A Serious Study of Crushes. I love the illustrations and the concept. Check it out.

How I wish I could teach sex ed.

Best Cunnilingus lesson ever.

http://www.upworthy.com/too-many-women-don-t-have-fun-in-bed-maybe-it-s-because-their-partners-never-took-this-class-re2-6b-2?g=3

a film about gendered society to make you think (in french no less)

A friend just sent me this great short film. definitely worth a watch, I also like the song at the beginning "come un garçons" by Stereo Total.

Enjoy.

The Bechdel test - a reality check about the state of popular culture's gender bias and the invisibility of women's selves

I learnt about the Bechdel test a little while back. It asks whether a work of fiction (movie, book etc):

1) Has at least 2 women in it
2) The women talk to each other
3) The women talk to each other about something besides a man

That's it.

Despite this being a seemingly low bar to clear less than half of films do so, and many that do, do so marginally and talk instead about marriage or babies.

I recommend reading the wikipedia entry about this as it contains a lot of good info and surprising details, which I am just glossing over here.

Ugh.

Here is a list of 10 films from 2013 that passed the test. I'm interested in is the one staring Cate Blanchett directed by Woody Allen called Blue Jasmin, because Cate Blanchett has been "on fire" ever since.

Actually a bunch of them look pretty good. Maybe there is hope.

Oh and yes, the Hunger Games made it in too, hence the pic. I am a bit conflicted about this one. I like the concept of the Hunger Games, but it seems that as the series is progresses, at least in the books, the focus drifts more and more away from Katniss' own self preservation and towards Katniss' obsession with her love interest, which I found disappointing, along with the writing. Nuff said.

Good Men

One of my many privileges is the men in my life. I have grown up surrounded by solid amazing supportive men. Men who taught me to play sports, fix bicycles, use power tools, run motor boats, drive tractors, and do anything else I wanted to. Men who listened when I spoke, respected my ideas and feelings and told me theirs. This has helped shape who I am.

I am realizing more and more just how lucky I have been. When I look to the popular media (which albeit I do avoid pretty staunchly) I start to notice that the men we see there are not like the men I know. For the most part the men I see in the popular media are alien to me. At best they usually portray only one dimension of masculinity, which is no surprise given that the popular media is inherently superficial, but sill. I wonder, do men often feel the same about the women they see?

In preparation for some workshops I am helping to prepare about violence prevention I have started a hunt to find more representations of men like the ones I know. Fortunately, since I know so many great men they are helping lead me to just what I'm after.

The first is a link from my friend Daniel whom I met during my training at Opt. As the token male in our class he often shouldered the burden of speaking for his entire gender. Sorry about that Daniel and thanks for doing such an amazing job at it. Here are some other great guys who are speaking up for men, and humans in general.

http://changefromwithin.org/2013/11/21/please-be-that-guy-7-men-who-are-transforming-masculinity/

I also just heard a podcast from this American life on the subject of "Good Guys". Parts of it (Mike Birbiglia) left me laughing hysterically over my sink full of dishes and then, as often happens with This American life, it got dark, and especially the last story left me a bit shaken. Have a listen and let me know your thoughts.

I recognize the glaring hetero-normativity latent in this whole post. I am talking about the popular media, which so often completely ignores anything that falls outside the binary of male/female. I guess that is what I'm after in fact are authentic portrayals and discussion of human beings of all genders. This is just one small step along that path.

On that note here is a link to a handy chart I found on the "Good Men Project" that I thought was funny and also is helpful in reminding us to, as the author says, "Human up and be folks". Nicely put.

Hermit Crab

I was listening to some program the other day where they were interviewing James Gulliver Hancock, an Australian artist living in New York who has a project called All the Buildings in New York (That I've drawn so far). Such a great title and as I've been wanting to draw more, an inspiring aspiration. It got me to thinking about all the houses I've lived in here on Haida Gwaii. I would love to draw them, but right now I can't even remember them all, so I am going to start working backwards and see if I can piece it together. This will be a work in progress, but gotta start somewhere.

In the last 3 and a half years I've been jumping from one house sit to another like a lucky little hermit crab at a cabin buffet. Unlike a hermit crab however my trajectory has not always taken me to bigger spaces, in fact, often the inverse. Doug and I were pretty seriously considering building a tiny house and as such gravitated towards the smaller and humbler variety of houses, at least until recently. Along the way I have befriended cats, dogs, plants, chickens and many houses. There have been occasional rentals too, but overall just an amazing myriad of houses and with them, ways of living. 

I'm updating this now as I have moved into a new house here in Queen Charlotte which I am quite in love with. I have also been staying in more noteworthy cabins and as such must ad them to the list. 

Two weeks ago I stayed with some friends at Richards little cabin on Limberlost. It's so magical and I have photos from way back that I never put up here. These two little cabins are built into the side of the dune and believe to or not, they are actually on Air B&B now so open for rentals! There is no running water but various little systems for getting around that. 

Before coming here I was at Nate, Charley and Skonun's spectacular sand castle on North beach. 

I was there since mid December after my separation from Doug. This house was 6 years in the making. Masa did a great blog  as part of his Radx project where he interviewed them about the process. Here's the link to that video. Here are a couple of pics I took of the house. The first is a pic from the beach. They are as close to North Beach as you can get, which allows me to run out for the odd early morning polar bear swim and then run back to the house and be in a hot shower in under 2 minutes. Pretty fantastic. They also have this big round window, where I can hang out with their cats and do yoga as I make my leisurely way into the day.

Before this I was living with Doug at South Beach Dunes as caretaker there. It was the most apartment-like place I've lived since coming here, though it still had a fireplace, the main source of heat. The living space was probably the least impressive thing about the property which is otherwise pretty fantastic. There we were in charge of 3 greenhouses, 100 chickens, 2 turkeys, 1000 rainbow trout, and an elderly  apple head siamese cat.

Before that I was living at Toby and Shauna's beautiful bird house beside the Chown River. This place is uniquely built with love on display in every corner. Toby's style is unique and his handiwork is evident in many beautiful cabins all over the islands. Though the footprint of this house is small, the use of space is genius with little nooks and shelves built in every corner. I lived there for a year and a half or so. The cat Minnow is a hulking cream puff who once killed 2 squirrels in the space of 3 hours to prove his love for me. Le sigh. I still have one of their tails thanks to my friend Stu who showed me how to get the bones out. 

Prior to Toby and Shauna's we stayed at the Coho, another historied building on the Chown. This place was actually built on a different property that was owned by some off islanders. When relations between the cabin builders and the land owners turned sour a gang of Tow Hillbillies moved the cabin in the middle of the night to where it now sits, on the Trout House property gazing out over the Chown. It has since had some additions as well as a rotating cast of inhabitants. This whole property has some of the best water I've ever drunk. Though the wind whips through this place and there is no shower or hot water for that matter, it's substantial charm makes up it. 

Before this we were at Neal and Elna's, the Eagle house where I lean red about glorious heat pumps. 

Before that, Sheila Karrow's little studio on the water. I named it the Beach House, since I was listening to a lot of them at the time and the beach there was a big part of our day to day with morning swims most days. This place makes amazing use of passive solar, and has a composting toilet and water collection to boot. Many of these innovations are due to it's cliffside location and thus inability to hook up to sewer and water off the main grid, but still, nice things to learn about. 

Before the beach house there was a lot of to-ing and fro-ing between the north and south ends of Haida Gwaii, between my all islands job and Doug's farmer friends needing help. I was living at a house my then roommate and I Jaime named "Retro Gran" because the woman who had lived there Winny had apparently been a lovely old grandmotherly lady who died in the house. It had a decidedly 70's feel with wooden walls made from fire killed cedar and an old lamp that remains there now as a centrepiece. Jaime and I managed to cook up furniture using bookshelves, pieces of plywood, old spools from electrical cable and a gymnastics foamie donated by Ben Davidson which we carved up with a bread knife to fashion this L couch spewing tiny bits of foam all over the show in the process.  

Here are some of the places that Doug lived and house sat/lived at. 

Kynan's cabin was one of the first few abodes we shared. I think I referred to this one as just "the beach" because it was often sunny and how in the little clearing where it stands and all around it was sand, except for a patch of green lawn which appeared to be the most resily available peeing spot. I put a lot of effort to make a silk purse out of this sow's ear to little avail, but still it was liveable. There was no running water, but it did have electricity, in the form of an extension cord running to the house which allowed us a couple of electric lights, a charge for the computer and a fridge. Luxurious. The toilet was still a hole in the woods. I think Doug had to pay rent for this baby.

This little cabin is at the end of the Sangan drive and right beside the river that is the drive's namesake. This cabin was built by Johnny Ebbs largely by hand and has dealt with bears, hippies, children and neglect. This is the first cabin that Doug lived in and later the place where I proposed to Doug and the two of us spent a lot of time here, meandering through the old growth and dipping into the river for a morning splash. Photo credit goes to Auntie Val, who did the tour of duty visiting and even staying in many of the shacks I had called home. 

…more to come. 

Chris and Elin's

Susan Musgrave's

Bonnie KC and Kaya's cabin

Dom's

The Trout House (house)

David and Sandra Begg's cycle palace

Tlell. When the time came for me to move away from Fantasy island I decided to move to Tlell. This was based on a chance hitch hike with a french Canadian Tlellian who took a liking to me and my friend and decided to take us home to his house, treat us to a deluxe lunch of imported cheeses and probably some wine and then orchestrated for me to move in a few doors down by corralling the owner of the house who was going to be leaving town.  I recruited Jaime to the islands soon after and she moved in here with me in November. 

The very first House I lived in when I came here in 2009. The Tai Chi Cabin on Fantasy island. Here is is awash with gorse flowers that smell like coconut. 

Things Organized Neatly

I heard about this website a while back but I forgot how eerily calming it is to look at. In all the chaos of our lives to gaze at items lovingly placed together in a beautiful or clever order quiets the nerves. Enjoy.

http://thingsorganizedneatly.tumblr.com/

Tough Guise

A friend just told me about this great video from Media Education Foundation

It relates to the safe teen training I participated in in October.

opening montage
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mmy2IHYq_y8

7 min video summarizing the film
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3exzMPT4nGI

The Difference Between Porn & Real Sex Explained with Food

pretty clever little vid.

some great (sex) resolutions/advice for 2014

Ah the new year. I'm staying away from making a bunch of resolutions, but have been seeing some great recommendations...Just read a fantastic article on Vice about how to have better sex in 2014. Some of the more down to earth ad-Vice I've ever seen form them.

http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/how-to-have-better-sex-in-2014 

Also, a great little diddy from Laci Green.

My fave music video of 2013 and 2014

As you probably know the internet access on Haida Gwaii is bum. In many ways this is a good thing, as it prevents the take over of ubiquitous youtube parties that are often the result of flawless access and unlimited bandwidth. The exceptions to this are time like when you are trying to get any work done involving the internet, or trying to show a truly deserving video you love to someone, but overall, it's a small price to pay to live in a place like this, and a good excuse to step away from the screen and get the hell outside.

All that to say that that I do not watch a ton of music videos and am decidedly behind the times on most things pop culture.

That's why there is only 1 videos on my list of top videos of 2013. Which makes it pretty easy.

212 by Azealia Banks. I think this probably didn't come out in 2013, but that's when I found out about it courtesy of my buddy Natalie when I was visiting her in Montreal. This video made my jaw drop. HOT!

Now for 2014. There are actually 15 separate videos (shattering my last years number in just the first few days of the new year!). These videos were brought to my attention by the decidedly media savvy Evil Patrick. One of my most listened to albums of 2013, and probably for the last 3 years is Girl Talk Feed the Animals, but then just one day before new years Mr. Shannon brought the latest album All Day to my attention. Another mind blowing, hip spasm inducing truckload of ear candy.

To top it all off, just after New Years I was introduced to the videos that accompany this opus. This genius 15 year old had made a video of herself dancing all over New York to one of the tracks from this album. When Greg Gillis, (the mix mastermind behind Girl Talk) saw the video he asked her to do the whole album, so she did. It's called Girl Walk All Day. I dare you to try not to smile, let alone just start dancing uncontrollably while watching this. It's beautiful. 2014 is looking good so far.

Great new book By Naomi Wolf, plus lots of great lady part art

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2013/09/23/naomi-wolf-vagina/

The Difference Between Porn & Real Sex Explained with Food

pretty clever little vid.

The Good Mother: A Critical Discourse Analysis of Literacy Advice to Mothers in the 20th Century

This is a doctoral thesis passed along to me by a friend. She quoted it in a meeting we were in saying "sometimes the things we choose to teach say more about us than they do about those we are trying to teach" or something along those lines. It stuck with me. This paper is a compelling discussion about how parents and especially women get trapped by the idea, fed to us through culture, and rooted in patriarchy, of the unreachable goal of the"good mother". Read on to get the gist. http://www.timeanddate.com/calendar/?year=2014&country=27

Pre fab ponderings

Lately I have been thinking about the allure of Pre fab. Some friends of ours recently put up their house in just 8 days which, even in the most energetic of cases on Haida Gwaii is legendary.

I have had a couple of sites reccommended to me based on their price point, which is nice. One is Allpro the other is Norpine. Neither of these sites actually show pricing, so I imagine I will have to call the numbers to get the skinny.

As far as design, the nicest ones I have come across are on this site which at least give a rough estimate of $100-$140 per square foot.

Spoken Word about the hypocrisy of the public's shaming of mothers who breastfeed in public

Fansastic spoken work by a British woman enraged after spending months sitting in public toilets to breast feed. NO MORE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiS8q_fifa0

Sex and relationships in Long Term Care facilities

Just saw this great video posted by a colleague about sex and relationships in long term care facilities.

I did a presentation a month back for my course which was about the need for comprehensive policies for care homes which are sex positive and encourage relationships and sexual health in the clients that live there. Here is a link to the guidelines we used as the backbone of our presentation.

I also learned about this book called "naked at our age" which is about sex and aging. I ordered it and have yet to read it, but hear it is quite good, full of stories of juicy romances in later life.

great website for HIV/Hepatitis info and resources

http://orders.catie.ca/order_info.php

Gender book

Here's a link to a gender book with great illustrations.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/lilyhiottmillis/the-gender-book-everyone-should-read

Also a link to a great photo essay about a camp for gender non-conforming boys
http://www.slate.com/blogs/behold/2013/07/15/_you_are_you_looks_at_a_gender_nonconforming_camp_for_boys_photos.html

First Nations Sexual Health for Youth

Learnt about this organization from a Ainsley, formerly from Youthco, now at Opt.

http://www.bccdc.ca/SexualHealth/Programs/CheeMamukAboriginalProgram/default.htm

Lots of great resources, posters etc.

Modern Hunters

Heard this great program on CBC today "Do Animal Lovers Hunt?"

well worth a listen.

Hip Hop finally takes on Homophobia, or more specifically Macklemore does.

Maybe you've already heard this song Same Love, but if not, check it out. I first heard about Macklemore because of his hit "Thrift Store" which is hilarious and totally on point, but has gotten obnoxiously popular of late. Same Love on the other hand just makes me cry every time I watch the video. The extra cool thing is that the other day my dad was listening to this incredibly annoying pop radio station and when I asked him why he said there was this one song he had heard with this amazing soul melody and, more interestingly a message of love and acceptance, something not often heard in hip hop. Intruigued I loked up same love to see if the song that had so impacted me had done the same to him. I was also excited to think that maybe there existed 2 hip hop songs in the universe that promote such things. Nope. I was wrong, but I was pretty happy that my dad and I had this kind of universal consciousness thing going on. Guess I better burn him a copy of the CD (which I bought, minus the swears) so he doesn't have to keep listening to Kit Carson :P

Pleasurable Power Point Presentations

Death By Power point. have you ever experienced it? Someone puts up a slideshow of onotonous text, no images, the entire screen filled with words which they proceed to read off the screen. BARF!

Fortunately people are learning and new styles are evolving to try to avoid this terrible phenomenon.

One intruiguing take on this is something called PechaKucha which I just learnt about. It's a Japanese presentation style in which 20 slides are shown for 20 seconds each (six minutes and 40 seconds in total). The format, which keeps presentations concise and fast-paced, powers multiple-speaker events called PechaKucha Nights. Apparently the PechaKucha night in Vancouver is one of the most popular in the world! 

Here is another example of PechaKucha, an actual PPt, that combines an interesting powerpoint with something I love, talking about signs and empathy!

Adult sexuality, sex and aging

I just did a presentation today about the need to create sexual health and expression policies within long term care facilities as part of our module about Sex and Aging, part of the Adult Sexuality component. There are a few links I would like to remember in all this so here they are.
Kritsin mentioned her friend Peggy Brick in class today, an award winning american sexual health educator. Her is a link to her blog about sex and aging.
http://www.sexualityandaging.com/2013/05/

Also here are links to the 2 books by Joan Price, Naked At Our Age and Better Than I Ever Expected

Betty Dodson is also important to mention, she is an artist and has done amazing work since the 70's organizing her famous "bodysex workshops" where she gathered with groups of women, naked in her new york apartment to discuss their genitals and orgasms. Now 83 she just recorded another of these films, and it can be viewed for $20 on her website, which also includes tons of great video blogs of her and her partner in crime talking all about sex.

On the topic of vulvas I feel it is important to mention another book that I know about which is related to the Betty Dodson theme. One is I'll Show You Mine, it's a photo study of different women's vulvas and includes pink pubic hair and (apparently) trans genitals, though you won't be able to tell. 10% of all book sales go to charitable women's organizations and if you write to them they will send you one for the price of the postage, providing you promise to use it in women's educational groups.

Learnt about this other book too, which is called the Manga Sutra this is a book which was written as a kind of instructional tool/graphic novel...I have heard it is great.

This weekend we also got a great tour of Womyns' Ware an adult sex shop on Commercial drive. They are very ethically driven and work hard to make sure that the integrity, safety and quality of all the products they carry are top notch. Thanks to the Industrial designer and display artist for their fabulous and informative tour.

I feel bad that all of this stuff seems so much more pertinent to women...If anyone has EDUCATIONAL books and resources more aimed at men, please let me know.
Just to balance the scales a little here's a Betty Dodson pic of a penis, or as Betty described it, a "Cock with a twist"

Public Cervix Announcement

A pretty thought provoking PSA by trans fore runner Buck Angel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_uNFmZHvO0

How much internet use is for porn?

Here's an article from Forbes that did the research...Turns out it's only about 4% of all websites and about 13% of all web searches are porn related. Not so much after all.

Modern day homesteading

As some friends and I are considering banding together to buy land and create a kind of Eden on Haida Gwaii, thoughts of alternative green energy technologies, home design and intentional communities are dancing through my head like sugar plums.

I was listening to Spark on cbc the other day and stumbled across an unusually interesting interview with another like minded soul from Whole systems design, a research farm where they are doing many of the things that I am dreaming of. Have a listen.

Passing through the looking glass and into the montreal art scene

I just returned from a delightful stay in the fair and french speaking city of Montreal where I was visiting my even more fair and thoroughly delightful friends Natalie, Colleen and Alex.

I am very excited to know that Natalie has been doing some writing on her art blog Passenger Art along with her friend Reilley who I also had the pleasure of meeting. The two of them are queens of the conceptual. I always learn a lot and enjoy any art I see far better when I get a second look through Nat's eyes.

While in monts we visited many galleries and studios. I got to see Colleen's latest show which included pieces dyed with headbang hair. Need I say more about how awesome Collen's art is? Check out her site for more proof.

While there Nat and I got to accompany Colleen and assist her in some prep painting for Jessica Eaton and fellow artist. We stayed up late and painted cubes in her gorgeous downtown studio of chartreuse brick and wide eyed windows.